oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
