you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
