her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
