Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize