Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
