He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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