Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
