I smell stomach acid.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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