What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
