Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
