So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
