just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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