Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
