whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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