when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
