it wasn't lemon gatorade
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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