theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
