we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
