Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
