what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
