Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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