Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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