Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize