guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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