Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
