The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
