she was so not down for the gang bang
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
