I bet he comes in French.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
