I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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