If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
