I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
