What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
