I want to stick my p in your. b.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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