Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
