im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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