Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
