i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
