im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pants are for mortals
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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