So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
