I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Dick very happy bro
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
