clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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