Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
