nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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