i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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