Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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