well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
