So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
