Swine flu. Run for my life!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
