Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
