she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
