You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
