i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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