you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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