guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
