Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
