8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We are two peas in an std pod
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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