Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he puts the penis in happiness.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
