You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need a burrito and a hug.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize