We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
